People have asked me what I'm going to "do" for my birthday, if I'm going to plan a party or have some wild and crazy event in my honor. The simple answer to that is "no." Frankly, I'm just not interested this year.
When I was in El Salvador last year at this time (where my community, living on very few financial resources, threw me a surprise party (which -- don't tell -- I knew about from the day before)), I had a conversation with a 14-year-old girl named Elsi on her birthday (July 3), two days after mine. There had been all this commotion in the community about my birthday (July 1), a date when people had given me a party, cards, cake, and love, and when I asked Elsi [pictured, left and right, with the dough to make tortillas] what she normally did for her birthday, her response was, "Maybe I'll get a card and maybe we'll eat tamales." Tamales are a pretty common food to eat down there but, according to Salvadoran standards, they're not an everyday snack -- they're just too darn expensive (less than $2, I think).Experiences like this are very grounding because it serves as a slap-in-the-face wake-up call that birthdays are merely the days when your age number changes. You don't turn a year older -- it's just the day after the one before it. Why do people even give presents on that day? Congratulations -- I didn't think you'd make it 'til today and you have, so well done! Bravo! Maybe it's the opportunity to celebrate someone's life, in which case the birthday boy or girl becomes the person of honor for the day. In this day and age, many people who are monetarily gifted might spend upwards of $100,000 on a party, thus bestowing upon themselves the authority to act as king or queen for the day. In a place with few financial resources, however, it might not even mean a tamale.
What does this say about the people who only know how to celebrate by "doing something"? Asking if someone is "doing something" for his/her birthday would suggest doing something out of the ordinary that would, consequently, count as "something." My take on it is that one should "do something" every day so that, come birthday time, what one actually does is "nothing."
People often say, "it's the thought that counts." I disagree. It's the action. I'm not saying that someone has to shell out lots of money -- or even any money -- to show their appreciation of somebody or to celebrate something. But it's people's individual ways -- with respect to their everyday practices -- that reveal their true intentions. Personally, I think people should adopt a well-intentioned mentality every day of the year. Then, on the anniversary of their birth, they can merely sit back and reflect contentedly that they have lived every day of the previous year to the fullest. They can be proud that every day has meant something because they have done something every day, raising the default bar so that something has become the new nothing. I guess, then, when people ask what I'm doing for my birthday, it's with the something-nothing in mind. So, to that, I say that this year, I'm just going to keep doing what I've been doing so that by the time my last birthday has rolled around, my collective days of doing nothing will have inspired others to turn "somethings" into "nothings" and will have left a lasting mark.**
**(Coincidentally enough, had I been born a boy, my name would have been Mark.)
1 comment:
Mis~
Great post!! You are wise well beyond your years ... and mine too (that's a lot!). I see birthdays, in your words, as an "opportunity to celebrate someone's life." It is a day not so much for presents, but for honor. (I hope you know that we honor on other days as well!)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MIS. And HAPPY YEAR(S) as well!!!!
(By the way, who said that, had you been born a boy, your name would have been Mark?)
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